It's all a matter of perspective..

There are times I feel ridiculously young, and there are times I forget that I'm not yet twenty four. This is one of those times. You would think the fact that I'm back in college would make me feel like a kid again, but all it does is make you feel older than all the other twenty one year olds there. To cap this off, my personal life has taken a drastically serious twist. Admittedly probably because of me, and my need to discuss everything, sort everything out and categorize then sub-categorize every mood, expression and feeling.
Needless to say, I've worn myself out. I have analyzed and then over analyzed every aspect of my relationship this past week to such an extent that I have reached the point of nearly being ex-communicated by my friends.. and then I analyzed some more.
I've driven myself so crazy this past week, that the idea of just switching off mentally and retiring into my own pleasant little world with retro music playing in the background and maybe a semi nude Virat Kohli (yea he's my latest obsession) wandering about, is a very appealing prospect.
Unfortunately for me, I also find it extremely difficult to switch off emotionally. I like to have my daily hit of love and affection, and as important, share the same..
But of late, I think I've been overloading my system with great floods of emotion. The problem with being in a new place, with new people, is that you tend to cling to the familiar. Or in my case, focus too much on the familiar.. When you care a great deal about something, you worry about losing it and as a result you risk smothering it. You forget that sometimes maybe a little bit of distance and forgive the word, indifference can be a good thing.. That it's healthy.. and once you realise that, it's also a relief. It's a relief to stop focusing so strongly on something else and focus on yourself instead. I'm a person who's had a very involved relationship with herself for years, and as much as I love my boyfriend, and the relationship I'm in..I'll always love myself more. And I believe that can only be a good thing..:)