Take me down a peg or two if you will..

I spent this last week in Coonoor with my family, celebrating my grandmothers 80th birthday.(For those of you who are interested, Coonoor is a beautiful small hill station, in the Nilgiris, near Ooty, where the weather's almost always wonderful and you get the most delicious tea). We all showed up pumped to have an amazing time. Instead, to my jaundiced eyes, it appeared that everyone was sniping at each other as often as they were having a good time.

It all came to a head when my grandmother and I got into an arguement about me having 'yet another beer'. I had taken to having one beer a day to celebrate the start of my holiday. Anyway, I regret to say, I was needlessly rude to her, which caused some upset on her part and earned me a minor shelling from my mother.

After being informed that I was being uptight and 'saintly' by pointing fingers at everyone, I settled down and proceeded to have a very good time for the remainder of my stay there.

What appalled me and caused this lashing out was the fact that I was actually being questioned about how much I was drinking and how many cigarettes I was smoking. I know when you are used to doing things your own way and you come back to living with the family, these things are expected. But thinking about it and imagining you'd be ok with it is completely different from experiencing it and settling down into it. So of course, I completely forgive myself for freaking out and rebelling.

But I think there is something to be said for coming back and living with the folks. Other than the obvious comforts, security and pleasure you gain from it, you also learn to give a little. I think with time, you get settled in your ways and you lose the ability, or rather the will, to compromise, to adjust and put some one elses comfort and peace of mind ahead of your own.

I don't think this ability comes from sharing space with just anyone. I have had mutliple room mates over the years, and while we treated each other with respect, I can honestly say that the unspoken rule was always 'each to their own'.

I suppose when you have your own family, your spouse or your children, it comes naturally. But children I think have a lifetime of taking their parents for granted, and you need to turn around and come back every once in a while, so that you can change the things that need changing, now that you have the wisdom to do it better.
Otherwise you're just ploughing your way through life running roughshod over everyone else, right?